Archive for the ‘Junk music’ Category

A dreadful way to start the morning

2011/11/23

Even before the sun arose this morning, I found myself on a Saint Cloud MetroBus after only 95 minutes of sleep and forced to sit next to someone reeking of cigarette smoke.  At the same time, the bus driver was blasting “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” by the 1980s glam-metal group “Poison” from his boom-box.

  1. Minus 50,000 points to the bus driver for torturing us passengers.  Next time, buddy, tune your radio to FM 90.1 and leave it there.  #%$&!
  2. Minus 100,000 points to the cigarette smoker.  No further explanation is necessary.
  3. Minus 500,000 points to the group “Poison” for poisoning our the world with the music equivalent of the television show Jersey Shore.

After finally arriving home and getting a hot shower, five hours of sleep, and half-a-quart of Gatorade, these still were not quite enough  to scrub my brain.  This is one of those occasions that required “swatting a fly with a Patriot missile,” so to speak:  Deutsche Grammophon’s’s Mad About Baroque CD (DG, 439 147-2, 1993, NLA).  Specifically, Georg Friedrich Händel’s “Arrival of the Queen of Sheba” from Solomon, HWV 67.

Beware the dangers of incredibly stupid music spewed forth on somebody else’s boom-box; it happened to me this morning and I lost about 65 brain cells.

Hip hop has jumped the shark

2011/03/18

Part of me wishes not to post a link to the dreadful hip hop video “Friday” by the so-called Internet sensation Rebecca Black, because as an actual musician who actually has good taste in music, I do not wish to subject you to this utter dreck.  It would be four minutes of your life that you will never get back.

Just understand that hip hop has finally “jumped the shark” and become a caricature of itself.  In the monumentally idiotic music video “Friday,” it is more than just the brain-dead lyrics, the narcissistic and cringe-inducing “look-at-me-I’m-such-a-rock-star” on-screen behavior, the really creepy cameo by an adult rapper, and the mind-numbing repeat four-chord hip-hop sequence that make this a repulsive song and video.

Little Miss Rebecca has an especially annoying touch of Carol Channing in her singing timbre.

She should be grounded for an entire month just for subjecting humanity to this waste of time, bandwidth, and valuable electricity.  Given that her parents helped finance this debacle, I would add that they should undergo a psychiatric evaluation, or at least receive a visit from Child Protective Services.

Minus 10,000 points and half a bottle of Excedrin.